Does This Look Like The Face Of A Lady Who Got An OWI In The Morning And Then Another One Later That Same Day?

Press-Citizen- An Iowa City woman has been accused of drinking and driving twice in the same day. According to Iowa City police complaints, 49-year-old Madonna E. Ballinger was charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated at about 12:30 a.m. Sunday and again at 7:45 p.m. later that day. Iowa City police first responded to Davis Street for reports of a car driving onto the sidewalk and grass, according to police. The caller identified Ballinger by name, police say. Upon arrival, police found Ballinger sitting in a lawn chair near the car, according to police. The vehicle’s engine was still hot and the key, which was found in the ignition, was turned to auxiliary, police say. Ballinger initially denied driving but later admitted she moved the car from the street to the driveway, police say. She was released from the jail later that day and less than 24 hours after her arrest, an Iowa City police officer noticed Ballinger parking her vehicle at a liquor store on Boyrum Street, according to police. The officer approached the vehicle and, upon contact, could tell that Ballinger was intoxicated, according to police. Police say Ballinger posted a blood alcohol content of .177 in a preliminary breath test.

Have a day Madonna!  I don’t know why but this lady being named Madonna made this story 1000% better.  If your name is Madonna you pretty much have no choice but to live a wild fucking life that may or may not involve getting two OWIs over the span of 18 hours.  That’s the way it is.  It’s every Madonnas cross to bear.  You don’t see any Madonna world leaders or brain surgeons or even doctors.  Find one.  You can’t (or you probably can because I didn’t look into this whatsoever).  That’s because parents put a burden on any kid the minute they decide to name them Madonna.  It’s actually pretty unfair to do that to an innocent and unsuspecting kid.  You’re either going to become a filthy rich global icon and sex symbol for an entire generation who sleeps with Alex Rodriguez or a drunk lady in Iowa who doesn’t seem to understand how buses, taxis or any form of mass transportation work.  There’s no middle ground for Madonnas.  It’s one or the other.

PS- How this woman didn’t just use her good looks and lady parts to get out of the ticket is beyond me.  Isn’t being able to flirt your way out of getting a ticket/arrested one of the top 3 things that are cool about being a girl*?  This Madonna had two opportunities to do this and whiffed both times.  She has the looks, she just needed to use a bit of her feminine charm on the cops.

*The other things in that Top 3 include never having to pay for a drink and getting to touch your boobs.